Like A WhiteSand Moon
by Kayla Silvermoon
Summary: Heero thinks about Duo and how much he never understood about his braided lover. Yaoi!


I DON'T (let me repeat myself, I do NOT) OWN GUNDAM WING NOR DO I OWN OUTLAW STAR. If I did, I wouldn't have horrible luck when it came to computers. They belong to their respective owners. Too which I am sure everyone knows by now.

Like A White-Sand Moon

He was always an enigma to me and to everyone else, I don't really think anyone understood him at all; only a few people actually tried. People saw in him, a young boy who had no worries, no fears, and no plans. I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't one of those people. My image of him was gradually changed though. It wouldn't be until a few months after we became lover that it happened.

We were in our room; well I was in our room spending quality time on my laptop. He was just coming back from a shower. Nothing unusual the same routine that was always played out in our day-to-day life, except this time he was only wearing a pair of loose black boxers, and his magnificent hair was not in its customary braid. Surprisingly I had never taken notice of it before, but his body was riddled with scars from times long past.

I turned around saw this, saw them, noticed his wide amethyst eyes, his heart-shaped face and his long brown and gold hair. He was absolutely perfect; he was absolutely beautiful. I think I stopped breathing for a few minutes. How is it that angel's loose their wings and that they fall to Earth to live amongst us mortals? I don't think I'll ever know. I don't remember much else from that night except we spent the night together, just holding each other's in our arms, just loving each other. The only other clear thing I remember about that night is how delicate he truly was. I don't think I really internalized this information though. The sweet touch of lips and fingertips robbed me of all that information.

It seemed that after that night I saw him like that often. He would just sit and stare out the windows and he would always hum the same song over and over again. Hmhmhm hmmhmhmhmhmmm hmhmhmhmmm hmmmmmmmmhm. I remember I once asked him what he was singing in his mind. He didn't answer. Just gave a sad smile closed his eyes and sang out loud without using words. It was times like these that gave me the most insight to his fragile psyche. He looked so much like a lost child waiting for his parents to come and take him home, and in a way as funny as it sounds I think we all were. The five of us really were all so lost and alone. We knew how to survive in times of war, but we were as unsure of how to live in times of peace. I think that's why at the end of the war we all stayed together in one of Quatre's many mansions, away from most other people.

We were five scared and lost little boys; we needed each other for support. Eventually, we grew up and we were able to do all the things a child should do. We went to the movies, walked around the mall for hours, spent whole days at parks, each of us healing a bit at a time. It wasn't enough for him though he had been wounded to deep and too long. Their were times when I thought if he would just let go and be happy with the rest of us, with me, that all his problems would disappear. What an idiot I was, I saw the scars on his body, I saw the pain in his eyes and yet I still thought that I could solve all his problems.

He tried though; I could see it in his eyes every time he would let his jokers mask slip away. Every time he let the others see this. I guess in the end though we just weren't enough. I wasn't enough to heal those wounds that would never be healed. The last few days, when his mask completely shattered, I should have known, I should have realized something was seriously wrong. It was during these last few days that he finally sang to me the song that was always in his heart.

His voice was dazzling; it proved my theory, that he was an angel. How could he not be? I don't think he ever know that if it wasn't for him, I would never of been able to break away from all of the horrors that are now locked away in my past. The lyrics were not entirely sad, but the internal feel was. I'll never forget that night. He sang to me the song. For some reason he wanted me to sing it in Japanese. He spoke fluent Japanese, but I sang it for him anyways. We ended up singing it together, both languages entwined. A few days after that inconceivable night, he told me he knew for certain how we would all end up together no matter what, and that if one should leave the other should continue with out them. I didn't understand him then, probably because I didn't want to.

I'd honestly give up everything I am, if I could only freeze a moment in time. I would forever live that night were we sang.

How appropriate it was that when I got back to our room and saw him lying on our bed lifeless that it was a bright and sunny day. The kind of day he was always in search of but never found. I held his body close with tears in my eyes. I didn't cry though. I stayed that way till the other found us that evening for dinner.

He was 24 when he died. The doctors said he passed away in his sleep. They say his heart suffered too much trauma, that when he was younger malnutrition and his past finally caught up to him.

How funny it is that it wasn't but a few short years later that Quatre, passed away. The genetics in his family were just too weak. Trowa took his own life a few months later, unable to face the world with out his lover. Quatre was 33, Trowa was 34. Wufei lived till he was 40. He couldn't stand the thought of being weak anymore, when his liver started to go.

I am the last of the Gundam Pilots; I'm a mere 83 years old. In the span of things, that's not a very long time, is it? I don't know how I have lived with out them for all these years, without him. We never uttered those simple words to each other. I don't think either one of us could of said them then. I can say them now though. I love you, Duo Maxwell. I can see them, I can see him. I know he hears me. I know they hear me when I talk to them. I also know they are waiting for me. He's waiting for me. I won't make them wait any longer, but I had to live, I promised him that once. That night when he said we would always be together.

I can feel it now my time has ended, so I leave this as my final thoughts. I doubt anyone will find this. I don't care. It's not for them. It's for him. To the boy that gave everything he could. To the only person I could love.

With that Heero Yuy pilot 01 of Gundam Wing, closed his laptop and shut off his laptop, walked out to the little cemetery in the back yard, were five tiny graves laid. The last stone read Shenlong, the fourth and third one were connected they read Sandrock and Heavyarms. Finally the first two, which were also connected read, WingZero and Deathschythe.

Heero laid himself down upon the empty grave of WingZero and looked up to the sky. He softly hummed a tune. In his eyes he could see the other waiting for him up ahead laughing and smiling for him. Wufei smiling next to Trowa who had his arms around Quatre but most importantly standing in the middle was Duo, as beautiful and perfect as ever waiting with his arms wide open for him. He had tears in his eyes.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't want to leave."

"I know you didn't"

Finally everything was as it should be.

That day across the universe five young male voices could be heard laughing and talking together as a song in five different languages drifted across the wind.

.oto no nai mahiru  
kaze ha tada akarui  
sukoshi nemutasou ni hanabira ga yureta  
One soundless mid-day,  
the wind was so cheerful.  
Flower petals sway in the breeze  
as if they were sleepy.  
  
nani ge nai kono omoi  
nee, hito ha donna kotoba de yondeiru no  
This serene feeling...  
Tell me, what's the word people use for it?  
  
shiroi suna no tsuki toji kometa hanashi o  
hikari furasu you ni kikasete ne sotto  
Tell me a story that's locked away  
in the white-sand moon.  
Let me hear it  
as gently as light shining down...  
  
itsuka shiru toki ga kuru no? mune no itami o  
soshite ima yori yasashiku naru no ne  
Will the time come? When you will know the pain in my heart?  
Then you'd be able to be gentler than you are now.  
  
atatakai kono omoi  
nee, hito ha donna namae de yondeiru no  
Such a warm feeling...  
Tell me, what's the name that people give to it?  
  
shiroi suna no tsuki mabushikute mienai  
tooi mirai no koto kikasete ne sotto  
Softly, let me hear  
of the distant future,  
so bright it can't be seen,  
like a white-sand moon.  
  
----Hiru no Tsuki / Daytime Moon – Outlaw Star Ending theme

Ok everyone, I've come back hopefully for good I like writing. So anyways the idea for this came to me while I was at work the other day. It was only suppose to be a short bit on Duo, but then turned into this thing that I couldn't stop. Anyways, I hope you like, let me know . Oh yeah I live reviews I even don't mind criticism but please don't leave a comment that's on the lines of "you suck, yaoi should be illegal, you devil worshipper"

I honestly tried with this story, put time into it, and I see nothing wrong with loving someone of the same sex. Besides if you don't like something you should just stay away from it. Not purposely go out and find it then bitch at the people who do like it. Ok end rant lol . Oh yeah I don't have a beta so I'm sorry if I've spelled something wrong, or if the grammar sucks.


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